I want a dog…

I know I was going to close down this site and I still will but I’ve been reading a book that has really seemed to help me put some things in perspective, and re-teaching me some things that I know but have forgotten.  I have here some paragraphs that are summarized from this book; maybe it will help you too.

Well the way you relate with a person will be exactly the way you relate with a Dog.  A dog is a dog.  It doesn’t matter what you do it’s going to be dog. You’re not going to change a dog for a cat or a dog for a horse: it is what it is.  Just accepting this fact in your relations with other humans is very important.  You cannot change other people. You love them the way they are or you don’t.  You accept them the way they are or you don’t. To try to change them to fit what you want them to be is like trying to change a dog for a cat, or a cat for a horse. That is a fact.  They are what they are; you are what you are. You dance or you don’t dance.  You need to be completely honest with yourself…….. to say what you want and see if you are willing to dance or not.  You must understand this point, because it is very important.  When you truly understand, you are likely to see what is true about others, and not just what you want to see.  The one who loves you loves you just the way you are.  Because if someone wants to change you, it means you are not what that person wants.  Then why is she with you?    You know it’s easy to love your dog because your dog doesn’t have opinions about you.  The dog loves you unconditionally.  This is important.  Then if your partner loves you just the way you are, it’s just like the dog loves you.  You can be yourself with your partner:  you can be a man or you can be a woman just way the dog can be a dog with you.

When you meet a person, just after the “hello” he starts sending you information right away.  He can hardly wait to share his dream with you.  He opens himself even if he doesn’t know he’s doing it.  It’s is so easy for you to see every person just the way she is.  You don’t need to lie to yourself.  You can see what it is you are buying and you either want it or you don’t.  But you can’t blame the other person for being a Dog or a cat or a horse. If you want a cat why would you get a horse or a chicken?

You know the kind of man or woman that you want?  The one who makes your heart sing the one who is aligned with the way you are, the one who loves you just as you are.  Why set yourself up for something else?  Why not get what you want?  Why pretend to make someone fit what she is not?  It doesn’t mean you don’t love her. It means you make a choice and say yes or no, because you love yourself also.  You make a choice, and you are responsible for your choices.  Then if your choices are not working well, you don’t blame yourself.  You simply make another choice.

But let’s imagine that you get a dog and you love cats.  You want your dog to behave like a cat, and you try to change the dog because it never says, “Meow.”  What are you doing with a dog?  Get a cat!  This is the only way to begin a great relationship.  First you have to know what you want, how you want it, when you want it.  You have to know exactly what the needs of your body are, what the needs of your mind are and what fits well with you.

There are millions of men and woman, and each one is unique.  Some will make a good match for you and some won’t make a good match at all.  You can love everyone:  but to deal with a person on an everyday basis, you will need someone more closely aligned to you.  That person doesn’t need to be exactly like you:  the two of you only need to be like a key in the lock— a match that works.  You need to be honest with yourself, and honest with everyone else.  Project what you feel you really are, and don’t pretend to be what you are not.  It’s as if you are in a market: you are going to sell yourself, and you are also going to buy.  In order to buy, you want to see the quality of what you are going to get.  But in order to sell, you need to show others what you are.  It isn’t about being better or worse than someone else: it’s about being what you are.

Don’t invent in people what is not there.  This is the message.  If you know what you want, you will find it is just like your relationship with your dog, but better.

See what is in front of you:  Don’t be blind or pretend to see what is not there.  Don’t deny what you see just to get the merchandise when that merchandise will not fit your needs.  When you buy something you don’t need it ends up in the garage.  It’s the same in a relationship.  Of course it can take years for us to learn this painful lesion, but this is a good beginning.  If you make a good beginning, the rest is going to be easier because you can be yourself.

It goes on to say much more but this part is the part I needed to read/hear, as I start anew, with open mind and heart.  There are so many possibilities; I’m excited to start a new life with changes at work and in my personal life.  I hope this helps others as well.

~ by subglow on November 5, 2008.